Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Life's too short. Make the most of what we have, or watch it slip away.
I'm telling myself to do more, today comes only once. What I do in that day will last forever.
Big words, lazy boy, but willing to change.
Here's to the gift of today.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Exams Suck
When they're over, they either leave with a feeling that you could have done better, or cause you to feel empty now that your main focus for the past few weeks have gone.
It's like losing a girlfriend . . . who was a b"t@h.
Happy yet sad, and a little frustrated about the lost time.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Ideal Solutions
Ideally, problems should not be simplified. But people do exactly that.
Some people know no other way. Some people dare no other way.
Unfortunately, the best intentions are not always enough. A bright mind is a prerequisite to an understanding of a problem in all its complexity. But it takes a truly concerned person to look at a problem and consider its many implications.
A solution? . . . that's a whole other problem.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I'm a daredevil at 1.30 a.m.
When everyone's asleep and I feel like I'm really alone. When it's 1.30 a.m. . . . it feels like no one is watching and I'm can do whatever I want.
My mind goes crazy and makes plans I wouldn't dare to during the day. It feels like stolen time which I can do whatever I want with.
I imagine myself running away to another country. Climbing a famous landmark. Getting in a car and cruising on a highway (sigh, not in this country). Sleeping outside in the open.
You can call me a were-daredevil.
I'm sleepy.
My mind goes crazy and makes plans I wouldn't dare to during the day. It feels like stolen time which I can do whatever I want with.
I imagine myself running away to another country. Climbing a famous landmark. Getting in a car and cruising on a highway (sigh, not in this country). Sleeping outside in the open.
You can call me a were-daredevil.
I'm sleepy.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Undefinable
Ideas, thoughts and beliefs are constant changing, like the water in the ocean or clouds in the sky. To define and name them would be pointless, to judge them would be worse. It assumes understanding of the subject, which will soon change its mind again. It is distressing.
We put our thoughts in concrete forms and apply it to our surroundings to create order for ourselves. We fool ourselves that this is different from that give these reasons. Sometimes we get so lost in defining and categorising and labelling that we forget that two opposite ideas could have stemmed from the same source and that their objectives are intertwined.
Ideas, thoughts and beliefs are constant changing.
I will just find enjoyment in the ones I like.
We put our thoughts in concrete forms and apply it to our surroundings to create order for ourselves. We fool ourselves that this is different from that give these reasons. Sometimes we get so lost in defining and categorising and labelling that we forget that two opposite ideas could have stemmed from the same source and that their objectives are intertwined.
Ideas, thoughts and beliefs are constant changing.
I will just find enjoyment in the ones I like.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Thoughts behind words
"Why did this happen?"
I'm used to hearing it spoken as rhetoric. As a complaint against reality. An objection of the unchangeable. Rarely have I felt that it was spoken out of pure curiosity. But then I realised that it should be that way more often.
We can't change the past and life's too precious to dwell on it. But we can learn from it. And perhaps us or others can takes steps to prevent it from happening again.
When in doubt, do something you enjoy.
I'm used to hearing it spoken as rhetoric. As a complaint against reality. An objection of the unchangeable. Rarely have I felt that it was spoken out of pure curiosity. But then I realised that it should be that way more often.
We can't change the past and life's too precious to dwell on it. But we can learn from it. And perhaps us or others can takes steps to prevent it from happening again.
When in doubt, do something you enjoy.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Take It Easy
I am lazy
I am evil
I do things I feel bad about but still glad that I did it
I obsess
I eat, alot
I'm vain, but care less and less
I need people to like me
I'm proud
I want everything
I don't know what I need
I like to cook.
I want a super kitchen.
I want a kick ass house.
I want to supervise the building of my own house.
I want to go swim.
I miss my dog.
I want to do the right thing.
I don't know if there's a right thing.
I eat too much cookies.
I think my obsessions are my form of escapism.
My parents mean more to me than they know.
My brothers too.
I don't always fulfill responsibilities given to me
I want to change that.
I'm scared to fail.
I want to change that.
I am evil
I do things I feel bad about but still glad that I did it
I obsess
I eat, alot
I'm vain, but care less and less
I need people to like me
I'm proud
I want everything
I don't know what I need
I like to cook.
I want a super kitchen.
I want a kick ass house.
I want to supervise the building of my own house.
I want to go swim.
I miss my dog.
I want to do the right thing.
I don't know if there's a right thing.
I eat too much cookies.
I think my obsessions are my form of escapism.
My parents mean more to me than they know.
My brothers too.
I don't always fulfill responsibilities given to me
I want to change that.
I'm scared to fail.
I want to change that.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Destiny
I read a book yesterday and it lead me into thinking this:
Who we are and who we are going to be are predetermined in a way. Our values shape what we care about and that is the reason for all that we do.
Maybe there is truth to this whole fate thing.
Who we are and who we are going to be are predetermined in a way. Our values shape what we care about and that is the reason for all that we do.
Maybe there is truth to this whole fate thing.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Higher Purposes
Higher purposes are convenient things. They give extra justification to otherwise purely self serving actions, remove some of the guilt, and help things to happen a little faster.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Conquer
I just got thrashed by Glen with a set of moves I have never met before. I have not felt this outclassed since I first began playing the game.
It's the most fun I ever had losing. Many people call this game different names, but I grew up calling it conquer.
It involves figuring out your opponent, luring him into carefully crafted trap(s), while avoiding his own traps. I love it, it gives me a real mental workout.
And now I find myself wide awake at 1.30 a.m. with a nicely warmed-up mind thinking about many things with an interest, almost obsession, that I have not had since secondary school.
Hahaha, I almost get a high from this feeling.
The world feels like a new, unknown place all over again, so many things to be discovered and to be learnt. So many ways to do something and so many ways to interpret the results we have. So many factors that shape the circumstances that influence the people and creates the results. So many priorities to choose, so much of everything. So much freedom when it comes to the mind.
I love this. I love this. I love this.
A great opponent is a gift. For it is through people like them that we realise our potential.
It has opened something in my head, cured my numbness and restored my curiosity.
In a way, the enemy is yourself, and the opponent is your friend who leads you to new heights.
Haha. Things are funny that way.
Life so far has been a long story with many ironic twists.
It's the most fun I ever had losing. Many people call this game different names, but I grew up calling it conquer.
It involves figuring out your opponent, luring him into carefully crafted trap(s), while avoiding his own traps. I love it, it gives me a real mental workout.
And now I find myself wide awake at 1.30 a.m. with a nicely warmed-up mind thinking about many things with an interest, almost obsession, that I have not had since secondary school.
Hahaha, I almost get a high from this feeling.
The world feels like a new, unknown place all over again, so many things to be discovered and to be learnt. So many ways to do something and so many ways to interpret the results we have. So many factors that shape the circumstances that influence the people and creates the results. So many priorities to choose, so much of everything. So much freedom when it comes to the mind.
I love this. I love this. I love this.
A great opponent is a gift. For it is through people like them that we realise our potential.
It has opened something in my head, cured my numbness and restored my curiosity.
In a way, the enemy is yourself, and the opponent is your friend who leads you to new heights.
Haha. Things are funny that way.
Life so far has been a long story with many ironic twists.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Theme of the day
Focus
As much as we can stand back to look at the big picture, we can concentrate on the little details. Hoping that every new perspective keeps me fascinated.
As much as we can stand back to look at the big picture, we can concentrate on the little details. Hoping that every new perspective keeps me fascinated.
Hmph
Memories are very good liars. They change themselves to suit their owners, telling them what they want to or expect to hear. It's scary.
Knowing that I might not remember right now as it really is frightens me.
The present may be all we have to enjoy the fruits of our labour.
Knowing that I might not remember right now as it really is frightens me.
The present may be all we have to enjoy the fruits of our labour.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Stones
I had an amazing thought process today. I don't really know how to describe it yet, but it went something like this.
Would you prefer to
1. Take one step out of your routine path to step on an interesting pebble?
2. Put your entire life on hold to step the the biggest pebble there ever was (e.g. a mountain) far far away from your normal path?
Conventional, old-school survival thinking(?) thinks that they are both the same and both utterly pointless efforts. It doesn't feed you, or anyone else for that matter. However, I think that everyone thinks that there's something undeniably cool about doing #2. At this point, I want to say that I believe in natural selection (and how it preserves the things that are useful for our survival in the human race and allows whatever less useful traits to die out, blah, bli, blah).
Why then do we think that #2 is cool? Why do all of us do? Why did everyone before us? Something in our subconscious feels that #2 is amazing cool. Despite the heavy costs on the person undergoing it and the many responsibilities that he must have forgone. Damn . . . I just just messed up my train of thought.
#2 is cool only in the right situation. A person has to be in a enviable situation in a first place to be able to pull #2 off. And then the person must be cool himself to acutally pull it off. I bet all our subconsious minds picked that up long before our consious minds did. Or maybe it was just obvious to everyone else except to me because I haven't really been using my mind lately.
Yet another pointless discussion in my head. Or is it? Argh, I frustrate myself.
(Half an hour and a shower later)
Then again, the whole discussion was a metaphor for seemingly useless accomplishments. And all of us have our little own envious positions (another long discussion for another time). And all of us can do our own things are crazy hard for ourselves to accomplish, yet mean almost nothing from an outsider's perspective (The coolness of mountain climbing is well documented now, but I bet the very first guy to do it was labelled a psycho by his village waiting for food) . . . I am deviating.
What I'm trying to say is, although as Mr/Father/Uncle Time has shown us again and again the things, that lead to the sweeping statement that anything is possible, sometimes the issue of possibility is not as important as the issue of desire . . . in other words, I know I can, but I do I want it?
Therefore, sometimes I think that we all embark on our own little crazy adventures not to fill our bellies or impregnate the most amount of women, but to remind ourselves why we want to in the first place. Perhaps the view from the mountain shows you how beautiful the world is and makes you want to hug every tree in the world, turning you into a conservationist in an instant, or perhaps it's foggy and the cold up there makes you long for your girlfriend's IndoMee with fried egg, wanting you to make you go home to hug her instead.
Whatever it is, I believe one of our great strength (and seeming weakness) lies in our ability to do crazy stuff, just to inspire us to do another group of crazy stuff, so one so forth, until we do something that everyone just can't deny is absolutely amazing.
I mean, the first microorganism must have been a crazy guy to decide that he wanted to climb the pebble I didn't want to step on. What a hero he must have been if he indeed did climb that pebble. And if you're one of a certain kind of group of people, you might also believe that people came from the very organisms that I might have just discussed.
Anything's possible.
(after a night's sleep)
Sometimes we do things that no one understands, sometimes even we don't understand why we're doing it. Perhaps we were somehow brainwashed into doing it, perhaps some part of us just knows that this is the best/most exciting/safest way of doing things, all things considered.
In the uncertainty of crazy things to do, there are no limits holding us down, no failures of other to disuade us from giving up . . . only the tantalising promise of "what could be?", lingering in front of us.
There is no absolute right or wrong in crazy, simply because there is nothing to compare to. No one can really say for sure of the result, or what others will think of it.
However, not everything can be crazy. Crazy has a purpose and creativity devoid of fear of failure. Crazy has to be well-thought out and planned thoroughly in advance. Crazy is by definition, defying convention. Crazy is cool! Crazy is doing what you think needs to be done, despite what people are telling you. Crazy is smiling quietly to yourself because you think you are right.
Crazy must be so fun to implement.
Would you prefer to
1. Take one step out of your routine path to step on an interesting pebble?
2. Put your entire life on hold to step the the biggest pebble there ever was (e.g. a mountain) far far away from your normal path?
Conventional, old-school survival thinking(?) thinks that they are both the same and both utterly pointless efforts. It doesn't feed you, or anyone else for that matter. However, I think that everyone thinks that there's something undeniably cool about doing #2. At this point, I want to say that I believe in natural selection (and how it preserves the things that are useful for our survival in the human race and allows whatever less useful traits to die out, blah, bli, blah).
Why then do we think that #2 is cool? Why do all of us do? Why did everyone before us? Something in our subconscious feels that #2 is amazing cool. Despite the heavy costs on the person undergoing it and the many responsibilities that he must have forgone. Damn . . . I just just messed up my train of thought.
#2 is cool only in the right situation. A person has to be in a enviable situation in a first place to be able to pull #2 off. And then the person must be cool himself to acutally pull it off. I bet all our subconsious minds picked that up long before our consious minds did. Or maybe it was just obvious to everyone else except to me because I haven't really been using my mind lately.
Yet another pointless discussion in my head. Or is it? Argh, I frustrate myself.
(Half an hour and a shower later)
Then again, the whole discussion was a metaphor for seemingly useless accomplishments. And all of us have our little own envious positions (another long discussion for another time). And all of us can do our own things are crazy hard for ourselves to accomplish, yet mean almost nothing from an outsider's perspective (The coolness of mountain climbing is well documented now, but I bet the very first guy to do it was labelled a psycho by his village waiting for food) . . . I am deviating.
What I'm trying to say is, although as Mr/Father/Uncle Time has shown us again and again the things, that lead to the sweeping statement that anything is possible, sometimes the issue of possibility is not as important as the issue of desire . . . in other words, I know I can, but I do I want it?
Therefore, sometimes I think that we all embark on our own little crazy adventures not to fill our bellies or impregnate the most amount of women, but to remind ourselves why we want to in the first place. Perhaps the view from the mountain shows you how beautiful the world is and makes you want to hug every tree in the world, turning you into a conservationist in an instant, or perhaps it's foggy and the cold up there makes you long for your girlfriend's IndoMee with fried egg, wanting you to make you go home to hug her instead.
Whatever it is, I believe one of our great strength (and seeming weakness) lies in our ability to do crazy stuff, just to inspire us to do another group of crazy stuff, so one so forth, until we do something that everyone just can't deny is absolutely amazing.
I mean, the first microorganism must have been a crazy guy to decide that he wanted to climb the pebble I didn't want to step on. What a hero he must have been if he indeed did climb that pebble. And if you're one of a certain kind of group of people, you might also believe that people came from the very organisms that I might have just discussed.
Anything's possible.
(after a night's sleep)
Sometimes we do things that no one understands, sometimes even we don't understand why we're doing it. Perhaps we were somehow brainwashed into doing it, perhaps some part of us just knows that this is the best/most exciting/safest way of doing things, all things considered.
In the uncertainty of crazy things to do, there are no limits holding us down, no failures of other to disuade us from giving up . . . only the tantalising promise of "what could be?", lingering in front of us.
There is no absolute right or wrong in crazy, simply because there is nothing to compare to. No one can really say for sure of the result, or what others will think of it.
However, not everything can be crazy. Crazy has a purpose and creativity devoid of fear of failure. Crazy has to be well-thought out and planned thoroughly in advance. Crazy is by definition, defying convention. Crazy is cool! Crazy is doing what you think needs to be done, despite what people are telling you. Crazy is smiling quietly to yourself because you think you are right.
Crazy must be so fun to implement.
